when having sex

health sex articles

You know how to have sex. A man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina and after a while he ejaculates into a condom. I don’t want to hear about sex without a condom. Well, I do, but only so I can get you counseling.
There will come a time, of course, when you will know the man well enough to get by without a condom. By then you may be thinking about having his baby because you will be in a rock-solid relationship and you’ll be one hundred per cent sure that he doesn’t have Aids or any other sexually transmittable disease. But until then, the main thing you need to know about sex is how to have it safely so you can rest easy every month. You think this isn’t very romantic? Why would I be romantic about something like this? I’m your mother. The position of the mother regarding sex is entirely missionary. You don’t want sex to make you ill and you don’t want sex to make you pregnant unless you’re ready for a baby and all that that entails.



When to have it
This will be a personal matter. I have already told you having it too young, or too often too young, will hurt and give you cancer as well as great heartache. This is a personal view and you can put it out of your mind once you’ve left school when it will cease to apply.
The fashion is no longer to have it as often as possible with as many different people as possible though you do still meet the occasional unhappy person who can’t help themselves. They’re sad in my experience but this could be because having endless sexual partners has never been my experience which is unusually limited for a woman of my age and inclinations.
I don’t see anything wrong with the principle of recreational sex, by which I mean one-night stands with men you hardly know, I just don’t know how brilliant it is afterwards. That’s the thing about sex. There’s the before sex, the doing it and the after sex and each element is as important as the other.
As far as I can tell, most women think the after bit is as important as the it bit, so my advice would be t think ahead a tiny amount before you leap into bed with someone. How slight the relationship can be for comfort will be your judgment but you should take self-preservation into account in the broadest sense of the term.
For a decent afterglow, trust is much, much more important than lust. You want someone who will have consideration for your finer feelings, physical and emotional, and your good name. I know reputations for promiscuity aren’t supposed to count any more but it seems to me you won’t feel too bright about yourself if everyone thinks you’re a slapper.
You want affection and warmth as well as great sex and I’m not sure you’re going to get that with someone you’ve only known for a minute and whose interest in you Is entirely physical. A man whose interest in you is entirely physical will be entirely interested in himself. Forget him. You may definitely call me old-fashioned on this one.
What you don’t need to become is one of those people who must have sex with lots of partners just to feel good about herself because love and affection is lacking in your life and you feel ugly. Should you ever meet such a crisis, I would expect you to come to me, your father or one of your sisters and we will be able to remind you how loved you are and perhaps get you some bromide.